• Andy Paulucio

5 Signs You Might Be Dealing With A Toxic Person

Before we begin, let's define what a toxic person is. A toxic person is someone whose behavior may have a negative impact on your physical and mental well-being. A toxic person will likely turn your mood upside down (negatively). Some sources categorize toxic people into six characters, but I have found that it is a little more complex than that. Some people may exhibit more than one character and are capable of switching between them. Rather than trying to spot the character, the important thing is to be able to pick up the cues that would indicate us we are dealing with a toxic person in general. So let's take a look at some of the signs.

1- Wanting to please others.

This trait implies that the individual who possesses it will go to some lengths to meet others' expectations. Usually, these individuals yearn to be renowned for being nice, and they would appease the demands of others to maintain this image intact. They do this by displaying an overly polite and friendly attitude.

When stumbling upon two or more parties with contrasting opinions, they will likely adopt a neutral stance, but they might be covertly leaning in favor of the party that aligns with their interests.

They might be very agreeable to others' viewpoints and easily give in to others' requests. But they have their limits. When asked too much of them, they would opt to distance themselves because they dread confrontations.

They have no problem detaching from others as their gestures of goodwill lacked authenticity in the first place and were mainly intended to reinforce the image they wanted others to have of them.

If you see this behavior pattern in someone you are fond of, beware as they cannot be trusted. You might never know where you stand with them.

The most important cue to be on the lookout for is the individual's capacity to confront an unpleasant situation. The way they go on about it reveals a lot about their character.

2- Always the victim.

When we talk about individuals who portray themselves as victims, they usually have a story of a series of unfortunate events alluding to being out of their control, generally involving others.

The problem is always out there, but never them.

Individuals with this trait may claim they do not like or want drama, but for some reason, drama is always after them.

One of the most common signs among these individuals is when they depict their previous partners as troublesome, complicated, or even toxic. You might feel compelled to break their streak of bad luck by coming in as their savior. But it usually ends in more of the same.

These individuals who portray themselves as victims, through their actions, will predispose you to respond in a way that would reinforce their victimization. For instance, when having an argument, they might complain that your attitude is just like the others who came before you. Thus prompting a response in you identical to the response others had before.

By getting involved with this type of individual, you will be bound in a string of theatricals that will likely drain you mentally.

The leading indicator to be on the lookout for is how they describe their present and past relationships with others.

3- Compulsive lying.

Everybody lies to some extent, even if that means omitting the truth. But the most common way a compulsive liar would go on about it is by manipulating the facts to their convenience.

They are often credible and persuasive because they convey their lies with certitude. This type of individual will usually have an excuse for everything, and they will always make false promises.

They usually put themselves in a position of being superior to others (e.g., more knowledgeable, fortunate, capable, desirable, etc.).

They might be seen as charming or charismatic, and sometimes they might even possess a mysterious aura that drives attention. In some instances, they will use their charm to manipulate you into serving their self-interest.

Since they project a self-image of grandiosity, confronting their lies would antagonize them as they would interpret it as an attempt to question their credibility. But the cue you may want to be on the lookout for is their reaction when their credibility is questioned.

4- Emotionally unstable.

We will be referring to emotionally unstable to those individuals who experience sudden emotional outbursts, regardless of their nature (e.g., anger, happiness, sadness, etc.).

In some instances, they will be very impulsive. They might say or do something they would not do under a neutral emotional state, leading them to have immediate feelings of regret afterward.

They can be very unpredictable sometimes as they can instantly switch from tears of sadness to tears of joy. Their instability may be aggravated when they are under the influence of alcohol.

Being with them is like taking a ride on a rollercoaster of emotions, which can be emotionally draining.

You might feel the urge of wanting to omit to discuss certain topics that could stir up strong emotions. Emotionally unstable individuals are very sensitive to any form of criticism, so tread carefully.

5- Draining personalities.

Pessimistic, always looking at the negative aspect of things and making you walk away with a worse mood than you originally had.

Judgemental, constantly criticizing and judging others, cannot discuss topics that would bring value to both of you.

Know-it-alls, you are always wrong because they are always right.

Sarcastic; always mocking others and assuming a contemptuous attitude.

And clingy, always seeking reassurance for their insecurities.

These are just some examples of personality traits that would give you the feeling that your energy and sanity are slowly being drained from you. If their behavior pattern is consistent, you might be dealing with a toxic person.

The primary indication that you might be dealing with someone like this is the feeling you get by engaging with them. If you constantly feel that hanging out with them is more of a burden than a pleasant experience, you may want to rethink your relationship with them.

There will be instances where you may encounter someone who exhibits more than one cue. That is because sometimes, a compulsive liar might be emotionally unstable and might believe they are always the victim. Or you may meet someone who is clingy and might display characteristics of wanting to please others.

Even if you might feel compelled to extend your hand to help them, your help might not always be well received as it might be seen as an attempt to change or fix them.

If you are dealing with someone you might suspect is toxic, the best thing you could do is first see if there is something you can do about it without compromising too much or antagonizing them. If not, then you may want to reconsider your position with them.

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