• Andy Paulucio

Online dating: 3 tips for getting better matches!

If you are using a dating app to meet that special someone, you may want to take note of the following tips to get the results you desire. So let's get to it.

1. Be specific. We must avoid being too vague in what we write in our profiles. If we are too vague, we are not giving others the chance to know who we are. Our goal is to connect with people who are likely to be compatible with us, and in order to achieve that, we should be specific about our values and interests.

Take a look at the following example.

“Hi, my name is Andy.

I am an easy-going person and open-minded.

In my free time, I like to work out.

I also enjoy watching movies, traveling, and trying new things.

I would like to meet interesting people.”

Let’s see how we can change that by applying what we just learned.

“Hi, my name is Andy.

I am the type of person who would choose a quiet evening at home instead of a night out with friends.

I value emotional intelligence, straightforwardness, and mindfulness.

Not a religious person, but I am totally fine if you are.

Big fan of cross-fit and outdoor activities.

After a long day at work, you can find me at home watching documentaries on Netflix.

I am not a fan of red meats, but I love trying new cuisines.

I would love to connect with people who share similar interests and values.”

2. Stay real. We tend to overestimate ourselves when we want to impress others, and as a result, we end up misleading them by exhibiting an inauthentic version of ourselves. If we seek to connect with genuine people, we shall first learn to accept our authentic selves.

For instance, if we only read two books in the last year, we can’t call ourselves readers.

If we describe ourselves as straightforward and honest, but we ghost people instead of facing them, we could refrain from describing ourselves as such.

If we say we care about self-development, but we spend all day watching Netflix, it would be best to include that in our profile.

If we say we value emotional intelligence, but we go on a major tantrum when things don’t go our way, then perhaps we did not fully grasp the concept of EQ, and it would be best not to promote it on our profile.

3- Reframe. We often forget that we have so much to give because we are so distracted by what we want. Instead of emphasizing what we want in a significant other, how about we channel the attention onto what we are willing to share.

Instead of saying… “I want someone honest, kind, and family-oriented.”

We could say… “I am willing to share kindness and honesty with someone who is also excited about the idea of building a family together.”

Instead of saying… “I am looking for a serious relationship.”

We could say… “You will have my loyalty and commitment when you win my heart.”

Instead of saying… “I am looking for someone smart and active.”

We could say… “Would love to meet someone with whom I can share deep conversations and do activities together.”

Give it a try! I hope this helps.